Lucid Dreams and Saturn Skies The Life and Writing of Andrew Kincaid

Tag Archives: Jobs

An Update, and Story Time!

May 21, 2013 6:01 pm / 2 Comments /

Since this is the time of the week where I keep you up to date on my latest doings, here’s a small update. I’ve got about a week left as a substitute before the year is over. It’s been an interesting year, to say the least, and a good experience over all. I don’t know yet if I’ll do it again next year; I’m hoping that I don’t have to, that I can find something a bit more reliable by the time August roles around. On a related note, I’ve sent out a flurry of applications/resumes to other jobs, some full time, some not. Even if I can find a steady part time job, that will be something! My best bet is a local district looking for a science teacher. It’d be a bit of a drive, but if I get it I could consider moving closer. I’d like to find something part time in the mean time, and I’m looking at a job in a local library. I’d be content with just the library job honestly at this point; anything to get a steady bit of income, even if it isn’t all that much.

On a more personal note, I’ve been feeling a bit better about things of late. It’s like a lot of the things I’ve concerned myself with are dropping away. It helps that lately I’ve been in a more Zen state of line. I recently decided to stop calling myself “Buddhist”, which I did funnily enough for very Buddhist reasons. After all, we should not cling too tightly to forms, or in this case labels. Still, Eastern Philosophy has a strong influence on my life and outlook. Lately I’ve been thinking about looking more into Zen practice. Before that I mostly focused on Tibetan and Theravada Buddhism, with a little smattering of Zen and Tao for good measure. Now I tend to look more inward, using the philosophies and discourses more as sign posts than destinations. My biggest focus has been to try and meditate more often. I’ve also started to record my dreams, in an effort to ease back into the practice of lucid dreaming (of course when I could do it, I didn’t really practice; it just kind of happened.)

At the very least, dreaming is good fodder for stories. As I mentioned last week, I’ve refocused myself in terms of my writing, deciding to put my effort into one genre, that genre being horror. And boy has it paid off so far. In about the course of a week or so I conceived and outlined a novel, and I’ve written 5255 words on the rough draft, and I’m only two days in. I’m shooting for between 50 or 60,000 words total. Once that draft is done, I’ll start work on the novelization of “Benton’s Station”, a Lovecraftian novella I wrote for the anthology On Dark Paths (which is no longer available) a couple years ago. Someone told me awhile back I could expand it into a novel, and now I’m starting to see how that could be done. I have ideas for about ten different horror stories, some of which are simply adapting extant works into a longer format while others are completely original.

As for the writing, I’ve come to some conclusions about that as well. I am a writer; that is no lie. However, for me the emphasis is not on money. Sure, I’d like to make a business doing this. If I could just write six hours a day and sell my books for a living, I’d be perfectly happy. And it is feasible, because if I stay in the area I live in now, I wouldn’t have to pull down six figures to make a living. I couldn’t even conceive of making that much money, honestly. I’m a simple man, so I don’t need a ton of money to be happy. And that is my main goal; to be happy. I want to write my stories, and hopefully someone reads them and likes them. Sure, I’m going to market them and I hope I could make enough to live of off, but if I don’t I won’t consider myself a failure. Even if no one read them and all I did was write for my own satisfaction, I could be happy doing that.

But enough about that. Time for the ‘story time’ part of this post. I came across a couple of Zen stories I really enjoy, so though I’d share them with you guys. Enjoy!

***

“One day a young Buddhist on his journey home came to the banks of a wide river. Staring hopelessly at the great obstacle in front of him, he pondered for hours on just how to cross such a wide barrier. Just as he was about to give up his pursuit to continue his journey he saw a great teacher on the other side of the river. The young Buddhist yells over to the teacher, “Oh wise one, can you tell me how to get to the other side of this river”?

The teacher ponders for a moment looks up and down the river and yells back, “My son, you are on the other side”.”

***

There is a story in zen circles about a man and a horse. The horse is galloping quickly, and it appears that the man on the horse is going somewhere important.

Another man, standing alongside the road, shouts, “Where are you going?” and the first man replies, “I don’t know! Ask the horse!”

***

 

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After a Brief Existential Crisis, I’m Back!

September 4, 2012 10:57 am / 2 Comments /

This is post almost didn’t get written.  This isn’t the post I had planned, but then Tuesdays are are like that around here.  You might be wondering about the title.  First and most importantly, I found it humorous.  Second, there is some truth to it.  Although it wasn’t so much an existential crisis (being an existentialist though that kind of thing is bound to happen now and then) as it was a nasty bout of depression, brought on in part by the remnants of Isaac currently dumping themselves dry on this part of Ohio.

That was part of it, but not the whole shebang.  You see, like many of you I too am caught in a nasty catch-22.  I hold a Bachelors of Science in Biology and Business from Muskingum University.  I pursued said degree in the hopes of using it to teach high school Biology.  My mistake was not seeing what I classes I needed to take in order to get an alternative certification.  So, now I have to take courses through the state to get my alternative certification.  But that’s okay–it doesn’t look like many schools are looking to hire any teachers right yet, and besides I’d have to probably wait until next year or so to get into one anyway since school has gone back.  Finishing my business degree was supposed to be a contingency against such an occurrence, giving me a skill set to fall back on.

In better times, that might have been sound thinking.  What I didn’t count on was just how bad the job market would be, and the fact that even entry level positions want anywhere from  two to five years of experience in addition to a degree.  Now I have five years of experience working retail, but not in anything else.  And I can’t get hired in retail either.  This is the catch-22–I don’t have enough experience to get a decent paying position, but at the same time I’ve overqualified for burger flipping or cash register running because of my degree.  Which is why, after sending out about thirty odd resumes and applications in four months, I’m still unemployed.

It’s frustrating.  I feel as if I’m stuck and that nothing I do will help.  And there is some truth to that; after all, one person can’t change the economy.  You don’t have to have a business degree to know that our economy is broken, and that nobody is doing anything to fix it.  Mostly because a broken economy benefits the right people.  You and I, my friends, are not the right people, if you catch my drift.  But that’s enough economics and politics for today, since that isn’t the topic of my blog nor of this post.

The point is that despite my situation, I’m largely content.  Anger and cynicism don’t help anyway, so why entertain such useless thoughts and emotions?  This morning I spent about and hour and a half meditating, and I feel much better.  It is only by being centered, happy, and in the moment that a person can act with their full power to better their situation.  With that in mind, I’m going to continue to do the best I can.  I’m working on another novella I intend to publish in the next couple of months, and I have several novel ideas to work on in addition to the urban fantasy I’m currently writing.  Between my urban fantasy trilogy (The Free-Lancers), my epic fantasy trilogy (Gods and Emperors) and two stand alone horror novel ideas I have about seven books to write.

Who knows?  Maybe when I build my back log up enough, that could be my living.  Until then, I’ll continue to shoot of resumes and applications.  Hopefully I will find something to ease my financial situation while I build my writing business.  Who can say?  I certainly can’t.  In the mean time, I’ll continue to be content.

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Renovations Are Certainly Easier in Cyberspace Than Meatspace…

June 20, 2012 12:43 pm / 10 Comments /
A clip from The Simpsons Movie

A photographic summary of my employment situation. Oh Homer…you so silly…

Earlier this week, I decided that this blog needed a change.  Truth be told, I   considered scrapping it.  Now and then I get the urge to completely decimate all the stuff I’ve been working on for months.  By way of example, more and more of late I’ve had to fight the urge to simply delete my ebooks and pack in this whole wacky self-published author enterprise.  After all, a year in and it’s a miserable failure from a (unreasonable) business perspective.  The blog didn’t start out as an extension of said business, but it became one and it almost became a victim of my angst regarding my lack of success as a writer (again, this all being based on unreasonable expectations).

However, I didn’t delete the blog and both of my books are still alive and well.  Now, there will be changes here on LDSS.  I’m looking at some new themes, and I’m going to implement a slight tonal shift, a weekly link dump where I share my internet wanderings including some link love for fellow bloggers, and more autobiographical posts on Wednesdays.  This old blog still has some life in it.  Besides, the new blog would have been basically the same thing.  Plus, I’m starting to do fairly well in terms of search engine hits.  Really, the blog is doing pretty well for what it is.

Now, you might be wondering where all of this came from.  For one thing, despite all appearances, I’m a capricious person.  The fact that I’ve managed to post to this blog on a semi-regular basis for two years now is a minor miracle in and of itself.  Historically, I would flit around from one of my varied interests to another every three months or so, which meant many an unfinished project and an eclectic book collection.

But it wasn’t my whimsical nature that was responsible for this recent bid for change.  Lately I have been in a rut, a victim of post graduation anomie.  It’s one thing to know in an intellectual sense that the social contract has been torn, but it’s something else entirely to see the rips first hand.  Part of me wanted to believe that there would be a job waiting for me post graduation.  After all, I did what I was supposed to: worked hard, got good grades, and majored in something more or less sensible (Biology and Business…hey at least it isn’t Philosophy!).

However, I’m finding this viewpoint is more 1950′s than 2010′s.  The market is glutted with BA and BS degrees.  Not only that, but there are a great many people out there who have the one thing you don’t learn in school–actual, specific job experience.  The work postings for my level of education all require anywhere from 2-10 years of experience in that specific job in addition to a Bachelors degree.  It doesn’t really pay me to apply for those postings, so I don’t.

As a result, I set my sights lower to full time work that requires only a high school diploma, until I can get my certification to teach that is (but finding a teaching job is another can of worms altogether).   I’ve yet to hear back from  any of them.  Now, there could be a lot of factors behind that, but I have the sneaking suspicion that I’m overqualified for said jobs.  After all, why hire a guy with a Bachelor of Science in Biology and Business Cum Laude when you can get an 18 year old kid to do the same job for less?

That’s right folks.  I find myself in the unenviable position of being between a rock and a hard place.  This frustration coupled with anomie has made for a powerful bout of depression that, at least initially, made it difficult to even climb out of bed in the morning. It’s mostly better, but I still haven’t been able to force myself to get back in the habit of writing.  Or exercising.  Or doing anything other than laying on the couch watching Supernatural.

Supernatrual is a paranormal drama that first aired in 2005

Seriously though…it’s a good show. Ought to give it a look if you haven’t already.

The writing thing in particular has rankled.  Somewhere along the line, it hit me that making a living off my fiction might not be feasible.  Without an external reward, there wasn’t a reason to write and it became difficult to make myself do it.  One day I was griping about just that to a friend of mine, when she pointed out in no uncertain terms that if you’re writing for money, you’re writing for the wrong reason.

Her words have stuck with me.  Writing had become not a way to express myself but rather a way to avoid the “9-5″ life.  I was writing out of a sense of desperation, and it was making me miserable.  Realizing that didn’t help, though.

What did help was the realization I had last night.  A writer needs to write.  It doesn’t matter in the least if he or she makes one red cent from the act–they have to.  It’s as integral to their life as breathing or eating.  There’s something cathartic in expressing yourself on a naked page, be it a word processor document or a cocktail napkin.  If you don’t, well, you just might go batty.

So.  If you wondered what I’ve been up to, that’s the long and short of it.  Oh and don’t worry about the whole job thing.  Something will work out, with a lot of tenacity and a little luck.  As for the writing, I’m changing my habits and thinking regarding it.  Mainly, that means actually using my poor neglected desk and shutting off the internet connection on my laptop for the span of my writing time.  So far, with this post, it seems to help.  I wish I could have a cool writing nook like these guys, but alas that is not feasible at the moment so my bedroom/office will have to do.

That’s all for me today guys.  Stick around though–Friday I’ll be doing a post about the legend of Cropsey.  Should be a stabby good time :)

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You’re Looking at a Freshly Minted Graduate! (Sort of)

May 16, 2012 2:45 pm / 2 Comments /
I recently graduated! Still waiting for my degree to come in through.

I have neither of these things…hence the crappy Word Art image, haha

Well, I am all graduated.  I think.  My degree hasn’t come in yet, but so far as I know everything is in order and my undergraduate career is over.  Now the job hunt begins!  I’ve already sent out my resume to one potential employer; the position was for general office work, not exactly teaching but it would do in the short run.  I’m also beginning the process of being certified to teach.  Alternative certification in Ohio requires a bachelor’s degree in a given subject, pedagogical training (either 6 credit hours from an accredited institution or an online institute that requires field training; I’ll be doing the former), and successful passage of the Praxis II content exam.

That being said, I’m not entirely sure I want to teach anymore.  I have all this training in biology, and certainly if I didn’t teach it would basically go to waste.  Lab work isn’t exactly something I could do very well as I have tremors in my hands and involuntary muscle contractions (don’t worry, I’m getting them checked out; I doubt it’s much of anything but better safe than sorry), which made lab work during school…interesting.   My lab partners wouldn’t let me touch the experiments for fear that I would screw them up, haha.  I mostly took a managerial role, as it were, making certain the experiments were done properly, etc.

That particular decision might have been made for me, since a quick survey shows no teaching jobs available locally.  At least, no teaching jobs I could do–the listings I’ve seen were for special education interventionists and college professors.  It’s a shame I don’t have a Ph.D–I could have a job in Zane State in no time!

Really, it doesn’t matter what I do in terms of day job, for two reasons.  One: my vocation is not the job I find myself in.  Rather, my vocation is what I bring to the job; it’s a matter of mind set.  The second and more important reason is that I’ve found what I want to do.  I want to write for a living.  Right now, that isn’t feasible.  I only have two books available, and the income from them is nowhere near enough to sustain myself on.  This is a volume game though: both volume of sales and volume of output.  That is to say, you can’t expect to make a living off one book, or even two.  You have to build up a list of books for folks to pick from, and hopefully if they like your content they’ll become repeat customers.  The key is to write and write well–you don’t want to just shove out a bunch of crap, after all.

Speaking of, a bit of shameless self promotion.  I recently released my book, On Dark Paths, on Nook and Smashwords.  It was originally available on Kindle, but I decided to put it on other platforms when folks who didn’t own Kindles told me they wanted to read my book.  I’m in the process of proofing Strange World before I put it on those platforms as well.  I have a lot of new stuff in the works, including a fantasy novel that is nearly completed, and several horror novels and novellas.  Stay tuned!

What projects do you have in the works?  Have you found your “dream job”?


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A Brief History of My Academic Blunders…

March 21, 2012 9:53 pm / 4 Comments /

Wednesday is here, and almost gone.  I have no clear idea for a blog post tonight, so I decided I would stop in and let you all know what I’ve been up to lately.  Right now, I’m looking down the barrel of a huge change in my life – namely, graduation.  That’s right folks, yours truly is entering the “real world” (whatever that is) come May.  I’ve literally been in school since I was six years old, as I started college fresh out of high school.  It has taken me five years to complete my degree, something I’m told isn’t all that uncommon but still rankles a bit,  mostly because it’s my own doing.

But that is neither here nor there.  Come May, it’s done.  I’m not sure if I’ve gone into my course of study on here before.  I’m a Biology and Business double major.  That usually impresses people when I tell it, which I find funny.  Business is easy, and while Biology is not it is certainly easier than some of the mathier (I’m a writer so I can invent words =P) scientific disciplines out there.  All in all, at least to me, my courses of study are nothing to be impressed about.

As for how I came to major in both, well, that’s why I’ve been in school for five years.  I started in Business, found I disliked it because in my mind it meant I would graduate and be stuck for the rest of my life in a job similar to the retail job I held and hated at the time (I had a flare for the melodramatic pre-Buddhism, to put it mildly) and so I decided to try to find a subject I was passionate about.  That was teaching, especially teaching science.  That came out of my rekindled love of the sciences in the wake of my de-conversion from fundamentalist Christianity.  I settled on Biology as my focus, as it was less mathy and I’m not overly confident in my mathematical skills.  Mostly because I couldn’t get an A in a math class – it wasn’t so much that I was bad at math, but that I wasn’t as good as I thought I should be.  I came to major in Biology exclusively when I discovered it would be faster/cheaper to get a special sort of Master’s degree.  And then, when I transferred to my current school, I found that it was even easier to get an alternative certification.  The Business major came in when I needed more credits to fulfill Muskingum’s requirements for transfer students.

Now it’s about time to cash in those chips.  You’d think I’d be excited for my impending graduation.  I can’t say that I am.  If I had to put a name to the emotion, it would be “resigned”.  I’m resigned to graduating.  Had I graduated ten years ago, or even two years ago (roughly when I would have graduated had I just finished the business degree), I might have been excited.  After all, back then there were opportunities, or so it seems looking back.  Memory is notoriously faulty.

Now? That degree I busted my hump for is little better than a high school diploma as far as the job market is concerned.  And while jobs are coming back, they don’t seem to be coming to my corner of the country.  Moving isn’t an acceptable option, as my entire family lives here.  This is my home.  There isn’t much to get excited about on the job front, and I’m not terribly optimistic as to my career prospects (although to be fair I never have been).

As for my book business.  It’s growing, but it is nowhere near the level it needs to be for me to make  a living.  If that happens at all, it won’t happen for another five or ten years at least, if I’m being pessimistic about it.

I’m not whining here.  Or at least I wasn’t intending to whine.  I didn’t plan this post – it leaped from my fingertips all on its own.  But these are my thoughts, and this is how I feel.  I hadn’t put a name to it before tonight – resignation – but the one I chose fits well. Needless to say, on commencement I will not be walking.  I want to get my degree, and get it over with.  I don’t stand much on ceremony.

All that being said, there is a lot to do between now and then.  I have to write two capstone papers (one about the Nintendo corporation and another about the genetics of schizophrenia) and successfully complete two other upper division classes.  There is no doubt in my mind that all four will be completed.  I will pass and I’ll certainly graduate.  It’s just a matter of time and a bunch of work.  Then, the job hunt begins…

How about you?  If you’re about to graduate college, how do you feel?  And for those who have done so already, how did you feel in the weeks leading up to the big day?


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It’s That Time Again…

January 11, 2012 6:12 pm / 4 Comments /

It’s that time again.  That time where I begin another semester and I pop on here to tell you that it’s pretty likely that I am going to be posting on here a lot less because it won’t be long and I’ll be hip deep in school work.  And all of that is true – it probably won’t be too terribly long before I’m back down to doing only Friday posts, although I’m going to try and keep up with regular posting schedule as long as possible.

But there is a difference this time around.  This will be the last time I do this particular type of post for a long time.  At least, it will be the last time I do so for school related reasons.  You see, this is my last semester as an undergrad. It seems like it is going to be a doozy of a semester as I’m taking four high level classes, including two capstone classes, cellular physiology, and a history class.  So, in addition to my own writing I’ll have to do a lot of writing for classes.  Something will have to give, and unfortunately it will have to be blog posts when the time comes.

I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do with myself once school is finished.  After all, I’ve literally been in school the last eighteen years or so.  I started college right out of high school and I’ve been doing it ever since.  Once this semester is over though, that’s it for awhile.  I suppose I could go on for my Master’s degree, but because I’m so burnt out when it comes to school that isn’t really an option.  My life has centered so much around school for so long that adapting to working full time is going to be very strange.  Provided of course that I can find a job – no easy proposition in this area in good times, let alone during a depression.

In any case, I will keep you posted on how things are going with me and mine in the coming months.  But maybe not quite as often as usual :P


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